Currently in Infirmary. Irony of all ironies, I actually got dumped in here for fighting.
I kid you not! Me, fighting! Like I’d ever mess up my hair doing that!
Not that it was exactly a fight. I was talking to some of my girlfriends about Japan and the cherry trees, a certain idiot decided to make a comment along the lines of “If you miss it so much chink-eyes, just get on your magic carpet and fly back”, I snarked at him that Chinese and Japanese aren’t the same and if he’s going to throw racial slurs around, he ought to at least get my ethnicity right, he made a comment about how my mother must’ve died of shame to give birth to a little blind boy like me, I tilted my head, smiled and responded that I was going to leave his mother out of it because I refused to believe that anyone could give birth to him without drowning him out of shame…
And then he tried to hex me. In front of twelve witnesses.
I was wearing my mother’s amulet, so that protected me (it deflects weak-level hexes or higher-level curses cast with insufficient power) but still, seriously, how stupid do you have to be to attack someone in front of a crowd of girls who’s fairly popular with them?
Anyway, before I even had a chance to retaliate, twelve different hexes hit him, some of the girls screamed for a Professor and I was left blinking and trying to figure out how exactly to thank them.
It doesn’t sound like I should be in the Infirmary so far, right? I’m completely physically unharmed, after all.
It gets better.
The Headmistress herself decided to get involved. That means I had to endure a talk about how motherless boys often have rage problems (excuse me, rage problems? HE attacked me. The GIRLS defended me. I didn’t even reach for my wand! All I did was snark!) and how if I need it, she’s always there to be a shoulder to cry on.
Yeah fucking right.
I’ve read the school contracts carefully. They have to keep me physically safe, clothed, fed and stuff facts inside my head. There is nothing in there saying that they have to actually give a damn about me or pay attention to me outside of that. They’re getting paid either way, and frankly, I’d prefer if she didn’t pretend to care.
It’s sort of sadistic, you know? Sympathy, that is. It feels too often like people just want you to cry and be upset so that they can pet themselves on the back about what a good person they are for comforting you and being trustworthy to confide in. It’s not about you and what you’re feeling; it’s about how good they feel when you don’t feel good.
Newsflash to the school: I am not here for you to vicariously get in touch with your pain. If you’re hurting over something, I’ll listen to you talk and try to help if I like you. If I don’t care, I’ll leave you alone. If I dislike you, I’ll still leave you alone unless you don’t leave me alone. I am not going to cry so that you can pet me on the back and feel better about yourself. I am not going to be your emotional pornography.
I didn’t actually snark at the Headmistress because the cynical side of me that said she’s just doing her job to make sure that I keep quiet and don’t go running to my daddy like any other pureblood daddy’s boy would do (“DADDY! The mean boy said mean things about me and Mummy! RUIN HIM!”) and the non-cynical side of me said that she’s in charge of a lot of students, she didn’t have to see me personally and she’s only locking me up here because she’s worried that I’ve been emotionally damaged.
As if. I’ve heard much worse anyway.
I walk around wearing eyeliner, an earring, and steal other people's girlfriends without even trying. Not exactly guaranteed to give me a calm, teasing-free life even if you overlook the fact that I'm about the only splash of color on campus (everyone is so pale and pastel, I don't even physically fit in, I'm a
hawk peacock amidst doves).
The Calming Drought the nurse tried to give me? Completely unnecessary, so I poured it out the window when she wasn’t looking. I’ve been told that I’m expected to spend the day in here just in case (what do they think is going to happen, seriously? I’m going to have a random breakdown and start crying? “My Mummy is dead!” Boo-fucking-hoo. People die all the time. It’s not like she even knew my mother to give a damn.) so I’m probably going to be hanging out on this journal and bored to the point of tears.
Except not, because boys don’t cry. This would be so much less boring if they’d let me have visitors (am I the only one who thinks their logic is flawed? I’ve been insulted, attacked and they want me to act upset about it so they’re isolating me from the people whom I don’t actually react negatively to when they pretend to care about me?) but nope, apparently I’m supposed to calm down on my own.
I didn’t hex him back. I snarked. Calmly.
Adults are so irrational.
I hate this school. Why are they the ones with the power?
ANYWAY, since I'm bored,
I demand entertainment. Tell me about the worst fight you've ever gotten into during your school career, and why.
